undoing nothing, memories from midnight to 4am, sunshine through golden hair, out of the tree and into the birthday cake, sing psalms to a frightened child, touch the softest part of your hand to his brow; stop it, now you’re just trying to make you cry.
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If it makes me cry, I put it here -
grip the leftover skin and pull, separate the tongue with doubt and bite, blood sugar in the gaps of teeth, swish with ocean brine, disrupt the despair with a careful smile, will not do anything without a drug of choice, otherwise four blank walls anticipating a house fire.
codependency and love and trauma and ultimatums and tropes and sex and regret. Alternates between recent pop songs and 40s-60s pop songs. -
You ever wake up from a dream
To get a drink of water
But you’re still in the fucking dream
And then you hear your grandfather cryingWhat the sam hill were you thinking
I really wish you weren’t such an idiot
I can’t believe I spent my life working for youYou ever get stuck in a dream
Where you can’t move your body
And you’re screaming for relief
But it’s hissing air in your throatAnd you can feel the demons breathing
Their hands and hair surrounding your neck and face
You catch a breath only when you get used to themYou ever have recurring dreams
Of your family fighting
And you can’t find a way to leave
As they scream from the porch to the streetWe are the ones you owe the most, baby
You turn and run now and your dead to us
How could you miss your grandfather’s funeralYou know we don’t talk about that
When you were born, he became another man
We loved him just the way God made him